What's the definition for a sore loser? Someone who isn't happy with losing? Well then just call me Sore Loser Tsing Yu. SLTY for short.

I acknowledge that Amirul was the better player, but still... I'm just SO DISAPPOINTED with myself. I even had a handicap of 6 points up. In a game of 15 points. What was the result? 11-15, victor Amirul.

I very nearly did want to break my racket. But I didn't let go of it. And so it didn't hit the floor and scatter into a thousand pieces. Only because I knew I wouldn't get a new racket. I also wanted to literally cry out in frustration and ask someone to kill me. But I hide myself. And just went with asking someone to get a knife and kill me. With a smile on my face. A fake smile. Gosh, I'm just SO VERY FRUSTRATED!

Okay, this turns out to be more serious than I had expected. I just started crying. My eyes are watery and if my fingers didn't wipe away the unfallen tears, my face would be stained.

Mom just came in and told me not to be disappointed. But how can I not be? I am considering quitting the sport. After two years, it doesn't seem like I've actually improved any at all.

Great. Now I'm using a tissue.

I'm probably going to continue, although I know I'm going to fail every time. Is that not the way of a sore loser? Even though I know I'm most likely going to continue playing tennis, I'm just thinking about dropping it. It's just how I feel right now, y'know.

I'm happy I have a blog to be able to pour all this out at.

I probably won't attend the doubles competition next week. I'll probably let my partner, whoever he/she might be down. I'm telling myself that right now, but the truth is, I most probably will turn up anyway.

Am I PMSing or what? I'm so emotional right now. I usually go 'whatever' and forget about it.

But I guess there's only so much a girl can take.